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Khaki muscle tank with “Bottoms Don’t Carry Coolers” in bold camp green letters, Pines Camp Counsel logo on back.

Bottoms Don’t Carry Coolers Resort Muscle Tank

$50.00

Starting rate per person, plus tax.

Color
Size

Cooler? I hardly know her.

This tank makes it clear you came to the Pines for the breeze, the bevs, and the banter — not to haul heavy cargo. On the front: our now-iconic “Bottoms Don’t Carry Coolers” statement in bold, beach-ready print. On the back: a clean, resort-inspired nod to Pines Camp Counsel with our logo, “Est. 2026,” and Fire Island Pines — because style should follow you from setup to send-off.

Cut from heavyweight 100% cotton with raw-edge armholes, it’s garment-dyed for that perfectly sun-faded, “I’ve been here all season” look. Whether you’re claiming prime umbrella real estate, strutting the boardwalk, or pre-gaming at Low Tea, this tank delivers breathable comfort, unapologetic camp, and just enough shade to make your point.

“Lift with your legs”? Please — lift with your charisma.

Why You’ll Love It:

  • Statement front + resort-chic back – Because entrances and exits both deserve a moment
  • Heavyweight cotton, heavyweight attitude – Sturdy enough for the Pines, the party, and the pantry run
  • Sun-faded like your summer fling – Garment-dyed for that broken-in, “locals only” vibe
  • Armholes for days – Show off the biceps and the gossip
  • From sand to Sip ’n Twirl – Perfect for setups, struts, tea dances, and all your main-character moments
  • Preshrunk, unlike our patience – Holds its shape, no matter how wild the weekend

 

Frequently asked questions

What’s included in my setup?

Each reservation includes curated, premium beach gear aligned to your selected tier.

  • Camp Lite & Camp Classic: Gear is picked up near the ferry or delivered to your house for a nominal fee. You choose what works.
  • Camp Couture: Full setup and breakdown are handled by our counselors.

Same polish. Different levels of hands-on.

Where does setup happen?

Camp Couture only.

Couture setups are placed by our counselors in respectful, designated beach areas that preserve community flow and homeowner sightlines. We intentionally rotate locations and scatter reservations — no clusters, no clutter, no claiming territory.

Lite and Classic campers choose their own spot.

Do I have to carry or return anything?
  • Lite & Classic: Yes. You’ll return your gear to us at the designated return point by your scheduled time.
  • Couture: No. We handle breakdown and retrieval.

Bottoms don’t carry coolers — unless they booked Lite or Classic. Then we trust them.

What’s your weather, refund, and rescheduling policy?

If weather conditions aren’t beach-friendly - rain, thunderstorms, snow (listen.. you never know), or other unsafe conditions - we’ll reach out with options. You may reschedule your beach day or receive a full refund. If Camp cancels due to weather, you’re never penalized.

If it’s windy but otherwise a great beach day, Camp is still in session. For everyone’s safety, umbrellas or tents may be held back or removed at counselor discretion. Chairs, coolers, and other gear are still good to go. High winds alone don’t qualify for refunds.

Campers may change or cancel reservations 24 hours or more in advance without penalty.

Changes made within 24 hours incur a $50 modification fee.

Cancellations within 24 hours or no-shows will result in a charge equal to 50% of the reservation total.

Once your beach window begins, refunds or reschedules aren’t available unless Camp cancels due to weather.

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