Bottoms Don’t Carry Coolers Resort Muscle Tank

Cooler? I hardly know her.

This tank makes it clear you came to the Pines for the breeze, the bevs, and the banter — not to haul heavy cargo. On the front: our now-iconic “Bottoms Don’t Carry Coolers” statement in bold, beach-ready print. On the back: a clean, resort-inspired nod to Pines Camp Counsel with our logo, “Est. 2026,” and Fire Island Pines — because style should follow you from setup to send-off.

Cut from heavyweight 100% cotton with raw-edge armholes, it’s garment-dyed for that perfectly sun-faded, “I’ve been here all season” look. Whether you’re claiming prime umbrella real estate, strutting the boardwalk, or pre-gaming at Low Tea, this tank delivers breathable comfort, unapologetic camp, and just enough shade to make your point.

“Lift with your legs”? Please — lift with your charisma.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Statement front + resort-chic back – Because entrances and exits both deserve a moment
• Heavyweight cotton, heavyweight attitude – Sturdy enough for the Pines, the party, and the pantry run
• Sun-faded like your summer fling – Garment-dyed for that broken-in, “locals only” vibe
• Armholes for days – Show off the biceps and the gossip
• From sand to Sip ’n Twirl – Perfect for setups, struts, tea dances, and all your main-character moments
• Preshrunk, unlike our patience – Holds its shape, no matter how wild the weekend